Cowgirls, Front Style & Church Goings: Tales Of The Cocktail 2009 in New Orleans - Part I - Feature

Entering into the element of New Orleans, the key becomes the essence of spirits whether flowing on Bourbon Street or through the nether alleys. The annual Tales Of The Cocktail event created a vision of melding new spirits and the re-invention of old ones but the journey is not within one tier but three acts. Act One begins in earnest.As the rain progressed on the grooves of Canal Street,  The Astor Crowne Plaza New Orleans, one half the center of the proceedings, offered solace as the die was cast, its luxurious walls offering rest and relaxation from the libations at hand.The kick off "Cocktail Market" at Hotel Montelone, the center of all things Tales, offered a display of different tastes to begin the evening's festivities. The essential smoothness of a lavender cello by LOFT, a brand based out of Emeryville, CA with distillery settings in Portland, Oregon, initialized the journey. The essence of its flavor was sweet and tangy without too much bitter. The concoction can be found online but also in a consistent chain of events at Astor Wine & Spirits in Downtown Manhattan right off Cooper Union Square. Another highlight of note is that LOFT's offices are only steps from nearby Pixar. Organic, a boutique vodka brand, also made its presence known in purity simply by the motivation of its flavors: cucumber and tomato. While basic in many ways, the taste does capture the spirit viscerally of these flavors quite well but interaction with Bloody Marys might be overestimated through the slightness of the cucumber imprint makes it perfect for martinis.Tito's Tequila were also making their presence known in earnest. The dare of the space rested within "Fire In The Hole", a hotter-than-hell shot which involved a hollowed out jalapeno nub encrusted in cayenne pepper and rock salt then filled with tequila and lemoncello. The key was to do the shot and then bite down and eat the jalapeno in one bite which scared more than a few onlookers.After drinking some water to cool the jets, a hidden room within the back of the Carousel Bar revealed the essence of Tee Punch, using the essence of Clement from Martinique. Donning the hats of lore, the bartender mashed and poured her way through the proceedings, The Punch had a light sweet Mint Julep taste with a kick giving a nod to its cousins in Kentucky.On the back end of that party, as can be expected at such confabs, smaller distillers bring out some of their wares to get feedback from far reaching connoiseurs. A specific one of note was Hudson Real American Whiskey, one of the first companies to begin making whiskey in the Hudson Valley, north of Manhattan, since Prohibition. Supplied to a limited amount of Soho Clubs and building brand awareness, the bottles released are smaller though the distiller himself brought a 750ml bottle which is not available commercially on the market. The taste can be described as tusky yet smooth.The Opening Night Ceremonies began anew with a party celebrating the release of Beefeater 24. Enveloping a ballroom at newly renovated New Orleans Roosevelt Hotel, the vision of both courtesans and drag elements melded into the bar as masks were donned for waiting photographers as Beefeater concoctions swirled in the mind. In the shadowed nooks and crannies of the room, four different food stations served a variety of morsels from oysters with spinach risotto to sliced pork being cut off right from the pig. In between, a toned blonde girl provided the requisite black derby hats as sweet cherry vermouth and 24 ended the soiree.As the evening enveloped ever so quickly, a downstairs ballroom as the Roosevelt opened revealing a barely covered lingerie angel. The opening of the Hendrick's Gin Burlesque show was about to begin. From the angle of view sipping a gin cocktail with cucumber, a leather clad seductress on an O-Ring writhed under a black light while girls dressed in black ruffles, perched above the bar, watched and smiled. As the show began, emceed by a peculiar ringmaster, the elements of the burlesque became more and more pronounced from a girl riding a unicorn with her breasts galloping to the fire girl setting her nipples on fire. The looks from the sides and the cheers from the girls in the audience solidified the performers' focus as a monkey boy contortionist and his mate began stripping off their clothes in direct order. Burlesque was the still the name of the game so the tease was made in congruence. A drink of "Gnome Sweet Gnome" made with Hendricks, cherry liquer and a splash of citrus flittered the tongue.The night later on Bourbon Street was dark and dingy. Inside the Bar Smarts party within Bourbon Cowboy off Iberville, the music pumped loud and the Jameson shots were aplenty. As the girls danced on the bars in the spirit of "Coyote" to the likes of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me", Chivas shots were shared with some hotel executives coincidentally on a separate conference. As the night wound down and the hangovers set in, a quiet conversation with one of the shot girls, newly transported from California, brought a good ideal to mind. Before she came to New Orleans, she was a bit introverted she said. But now she's not.Lunch required glasses in the beginning since sleep was not yet of the essence. In the Soul Revival Suite atop the Hotel Montelone, different lunches in respect to certain days highlighted spirits of specific placement. After settling the stomach with a bit of rice and pork serenaded in ranch dressing, Averna made itself known. With a variety of four different sambucas, the challenge here was palette. One of the key things at "Tales" which was more, at times, common sense than anything else was an influx of bottled water which Fiji was nice enough to provide. Averna's citrus label sambuca was the smoothest by far while the straight-up version singed with the normal twang. However, it was the Sicilian Fizz combining strawberries, a bit of soda water and Averna's licorice-spun sambuca which provided the most kick with a gentle aftertaste.The first attended panel of the conference "Taking The Bullshit Out Of Port" (originally called "Not Your Grandpa's Port") set the tone. The key with many spirits is being able to let loose inhibitions and look at them a different way. Absinthe at this conference was used specifically in this way. With port, people see it more an after dinner drink. Here the idea was to show the possibility of a port cocktail which, while not in wide acceptance, is already being done. The first major point made of Port (which was originated honestly in Portugal) is that, in 110 degree heat in the summer in that country, people were going to want a cool cocktail, specifically with port.The first sample used the essence of egg yolk mixed with port and bitters which gave it a light almost translucent taste. The next two cocktails were specific but, in breaking down their structure, one can see the construction. The first true port cocktail sampled combined the essence of Grand Mariner, Asombra and 127 Port to interesting if not smoky textures. The tip of possibility is there though it still needs more coaxing. The second port cocktail combined bitters, maple syrup,Ronseca and Makers and is then served up like a Manhattan with three cherries on a pick. The result is silky yet a bit brisk as the taste buds struggle to interpret the colliding of structures which, despite any preconceived notions, is quite good.The second inkling of port within the panel involved that of the Croft Pink Port which uses white grapes for its rich texture. Pink port can be made by adding red and white grapes together in a mix but, as the lead panelist Spencer Best commented, it comes out as "pedantic". The key is specific aging. Late bottle vintages take about 4 to 6 years while the "Reserve" takes about 2 to 3. The key with the Pink is that 12 hours initially of fermentation needs to be taken of the skins. Spencer's three main words needed, in his mind, to describe port were specifically recited: nutty, fruity and complex.The two port cocktails that followed using the Croft Pink faired better simply because of the construction inherent in making this vintage. "Bubbles + Pink", an apertif by nature, combined bitters, Cointreau and the port, chilled heavily and stirred. The result is a slightly off-put drink that goes down smooth the more you drink of it naturally by paradox. The second outing of Croft Pink wasn't as successful in essence because of the different chemical natures of the mixing spirits. This drink, "The Smoking Gun", combines orange juice, Pink and scotch and while, surprisingly sweet considering, comes off a bit too citrusy.After compelling oneself with water, the hall upstairs at the Montelone began to brim with anticipation for the Absinthe Green Hour where the recently legalized spirit would get its perspective.Near the end of the hall, a secret offering in the guise of the Cointreau Tasting Room kept the synapses firing. As mint, strawberries and cucumber were mashed in rapid order, the figure of the drink "Rosy Lady" tickled the fancy combining Cointreau, lemon and gin with the fruity essence of the mash and shaken. The result was a more than adequate missile of flavor that jump started the thought process.As green began to fill the vision as the Absinthe Hour reigned, the key thought was the aspect of differentiation. Lucid, in full regalia as seen in the visage of Ted Breaux, was in highlighting a new Swiss absinthe not of his own creation but of a close friend. When inquired, there was not yet plans to create a super premium form of Lucid but to be revealed. Flowing through other tables, the essence of Czech absinthe (sampled on a Prague press trip last year) is making its presence known with its coming premiere in the States in the form of "The Green Fairy" which oddly enough, distilled in the Czech Republic, is actually made by Australians.The essence of a sampled Philadelphia absinthe was actually infused with a bit of twang as a shot was toasted with a distiller from Pacific down the way. But it was Pacific Distillery, out of Seattle, whose master blender Marc Bernhard was on hand to discuss its intent, that had the smoothness to beat. In balance, Le Tournment Vert, readily available at the Palms in Las Vegas, kept a discreet but strong presence including a ready endorsement from The Doheny in Downtown LA where it can also be found prevalently.Another interesting fusion progression made its ability apparent in one of Marteau's absinthes which blended scotch whiskey with the spirit allowing for a smattering of bitters. Interesting taste but not without drawbacks.As the dusk shined the golden warmth into darkness down Royal, the structure of The Presbytere arose out of the square as skateboarders jumped the rails at a nearby church. Entering the halls of the museum of time, the stairs upstairs reveled in a texture of blue.The spirit that made its presence most known even as the party wound down was the essence of Zwack, a Hungarian spirit with the right amount of kick. When mixed with Campari, its sweetness can become nicely euphoric. The current head of the company, whose grandparents started its distillation, stood watching with interest as the different tastes became apparent to her from people's faces. Zwack's strength is that it has the essence of being smooth and rich without being overpowering.At another table within the corridors Don Julio mixed its tequila in a blend of simple syrup which, while diluting the power of the impact, gave the cocktail might despite its intensiveness in this form which functioned more as a cordial. This drink, most accurately, would be finely enjoyed on a sweet afternoon as the brown sugar around the rim of the glass added to its beauty while the fizz gave it the consistency akin to The Sicilian sampled from Averna.The evening continued to evolve with a private cocktail-paired dinner at Mila just around the corner from the Roosevelt. The personage of Elixir, out of San Francisco, populated the table as the courses began. The tuna tartare in trollop form lying across a waffle crisp went down smoothly as a mojito was simply insisted. The cucumber-embossed salad rolled in thin slices, hiding the cream cheese center inside, slid down with silkiness as the sugar alternative of the mojito also gave it breath and beauty making it divine.The fish course that followed was draped over a bed of morels that gave it enriched substance. The flaky meat simply melted in the mouth not unlike a similar entree sampled in Stockholm, Sweden a year prior. Flounder cooked precisely this way is usually the only dish that can come off with this type of precision. Add to that fact a light but forceful molasses sauce that makes the poisson proceedings almost devilish.The meat course envisioned a cross of lamb which melted in the mouth with a hard lemonade envisioned concoction as a fusion point. However it was the mind blowing taste of the short rib hidden on the plate that sent everyone over the top.After smoking Parliaments in the growing chill of the night discussing the baths of Hungary, a dessert of a chocolate cordial floating in a strawberry liquid pond surrounded by whipped cream made the indulgence that much more so.The late night climax of the first section of "Tales" belonged to the Hornitos' Party at Mardi Gras World on the river past the convention center which required a Hunter Thompson trek in vision jumping fences just to arrive as the hour approaching 12.There, the center bar swirled in oranges as two sweet drinks turned to six quickly in the guise of a tequila punch down low. The platforms danced with girls in skintight leather as beads were handed out. Deputized after a few shots, the beads became a sign of dance intensity. After rewarding a couple debouchkas, the dance floor heated up. The drink was ready. Moving towards the floor was a given. As the cut off approached, the shuttle outside was definitely music in motion.Next cocktail please.